A Weird Conversation
by Alemae
Summary: Inspired by monotogne's Iroh and Asami drawing in colour. Random, somewhat weird conversations are part and parcel of every healthy relationship. A look at one of those weird instances from Iroh's POV.


A/N: I have not written anything in a long, long time. But I happened to see this beautiful piece of art by monotogne on Deviantart purely by chance the other day, and I remembered what a beautiful imaginary couple they made. In my mind, they are still a beautiful couple and season 4... was just not season 4. Anyway, this was a random thing that popped into my head and I felt it was weird enough to merit being written down and also to just get it out of my brain.

Check out monotogne's Iroh and Asami drawing in colour on Deviantart.

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"Our babies will be totally and extremely beautiful or they'll be totally and extremely ugly."

 _What?_

"Uh… what?"

"That's what Korra was saying the other day. And this is a direct quote," her fingers lifted and curled to form air quotes here, "With two craze-amazingly gorgeous people, you only get two extremes!"

"No, no, the thing about b...babies. What did you just say?"

 _Dear sweet majestic lion turtle, what is happening right now?_

She huffed in exasperation.

"I said, Korra said that if we ever had babies, our babies would be extremely beautiful or extremely ugly."

"You didn't add an 'if' just now. I didn't hear an 'if' in the first thing you said."

 _Korra really needs to learn how to shut her gap._

"Seriously, Iroh? Are you that freaked out right now?" She rolled onto her side so she was half on top of me and stared right into my eyes. A few of her curls spilled over her shoulder and tickled my chin. I freed my hand from where it had previously been wrapped around her waist and used it to hold back the strands framing her face. She gently leaned into my hand and looked appraisingly at me with hooded eyes. Those eyes were shining with mischief and something else. I wasn't sure I was ready to find out what that something else was.

"You are such a _boy_!"

"I didn't hear you complaining about that just now."

"Don't sidetrack me! I was asking you a question."

"I did not hear a single question at all in the last five minutes."

"Sometimes, I really don't understand why I put up with you at all, _your highness_."

"Because I'm a prince. And because you think I'm—what was that again? Oh yeah, craze-amazingly gorgeous."

Asami shot me one of her trademark glares. I used my thumb to smooth the small furrow between her eyes before heaving a sigh.

"Are we having one of those milestone-couple-relationship-conversation thingies? Because right now I think we are too young to be popping out little people. And we still have to help the avatar out with all her saving the world stuff and all that."

Asami considered me for a moment before rolling her beautiful eyes.

"No, silly, I'm just saying 'if'. It's one of those future _ifs_ to maybe contemplate in, I don't know, like ten years or so. Maybe. And I just said that to see what your reaction would be." She finished with a little smirk.

 _Girls, seriously._

"That is a very risky thing to just casually say to someone. You're lucky that I like you. And might someday even contemplate the thought of maybe possibly having those beautiful babies you were talking about."

"They would be really beautiful, wouldn't they?"

"Of course they would! I mean, have you seen where my genes come from?"

"Mm yeah, your grandfather is a _very_ fine specimen."

"Asami!"

"He knows how to dress the part, too."

" _Asami_!"

"Unlike you, always wearing that same prissy uniform everywhere."

"Seriously, you want to go there? At least I don't wear some funky button-down top thing that makes me a walking advertisement for my dad's company."

"What did you just say?"

 _Woah, man. Tread carefully from here on out. Tread very carefully._

"I'm really sorry and I really dig your outfit and you're beautiful like any future babies we might have."

"You leave my future babies out of this! There's no way you're getting out of this that easy."

"Hey! I said I was sorry! And I really do love your outfit! It's so sexy."

"Oh no way, your highness, you're still in trouble."

"I really, really love how you dress, Asami! Although, now that you mention it…."

"What?! What more do you have to say about my clothes?"

"You could make some modifications to it."

"Really, Iroh? Could I?"

Her emerald eyes narrowed and I noticed them take on a very dangerous glint. I almost gulped in fear. But damn, she was beautiful when she was all riled up. This situation needed some very delicate handling. I would need all my diplomacy training to smooth this over.

"Yes, Asami. You could make some modifications to your clothes."

There was that dangerous glint again. Be careful, Iroh. The Fire Nation army isn't going to save your ass now.

"And I suppose _you_ know what modifications they could be?"

"Yup. Even better, I can show you. But first, I'm going to need you to take off all your clothes."

"Haha, very cute, loverboy." I could feel the sarcasm tinging the space between us. But then she bent down and planted a gentle kiss on my nose and I knew I was in the clear.

Ladies and gentlemen, _that_ is how it's done.

* * *

A/N: Yup, pretty weird. No idea where that came from. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed it regardless. :)


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